Ken Epp Award Nominees: Pat Martin and John Baird

You may have seen something in the news about Parliament debating zombie invasions. Well, here’s the exchange, from yesterday’s Question Period:

Mr. Pat Martin (Winnipeg Centre, NDP): Mr. Speaker, I rise today to salute the Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta and the Province of Quebec for putting in place emergency measures to deal with the possibility of an invasion of zombies. I do not need to tell you, Mr. Speaker, that zombies do not recognize borders and that a zombie invasion in the United States could easily turn into a continent-wide pandemic if it is not contained.

On behalf of concerned Canadians everywhere, I want to ask the Minister of Foreign Affairs: Is he working with his American counterparts to develop an international zombie strategy so that a zombie invasion does not turn into a zombie apocalypse?

Hon. John Baird (Minister of Foreign Affairs, CPC): Mr. Speaker, I want to assure the member and all Canadians that I am “dead-icated” to ensuring that this never happens. I want to say categorically to this member, and through him to all Canadians, that under the leadership of this Prime Minister, Canada will never become a safe haven for zombies, ever.

I have absolutely no idea if either of these two cracked a smile or let out a giggle. But you’d have to agree — it is rhetorically silly, ain’t it?

But I’d give the nomination edge to the Minister, if only for this little “mispoint of order”:

Hon. John Baird (Minister of Foreign Affairs, CPC): Mr. Speaker, in reference to a question I received from the member for Winnipeg Centre, we should take this issue very seriously. If there is a zombie attack, Canadians need to be well prepared. They should stock up on first aid kits, monster trucks, canned food and water, and I am not going to stand in this place and not warn Canadians that if the NDP had its way, Canadians would have to pay a carbon tax on each and every one of those—

The Speaker: Order. I do not think it needs saying that that was not a point of order.

Oh, and by the way: the CDC zombie exercise in question? Cancelled. I wonder if they were thinking about getting Daleks instead?

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About PhantomObserver

I'm an information specialist / animation artist living and working in Ottawa.
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4 Responses to Ken Epp Award Nominees: Pat Martin and John Baird

  1. It’s simple: I’m a Tory who’ll call out Tory politicians when they do something silly, and who’ll defend Liberals when they’re attacked for the wrong reasons.

  2. Johnny B Liberal says:

    You have an award dis-honouring a Conservative MP Ken Epp, and a post defending a shallow and rude Liberal, Justin Trudeau.

    With all due respect, are you a liberal or a conservative , or indeed something else?

  3. old white guy says:

    at least the news cast had me laughing out loud for real.

  4. JoeFrmEdm says:

    Victor; some of the American networks have picked up this item too...

Comments are closed.